I'm going to tell a story that as of yet, does not have an ending. It's an ongoing saga, one filled with love, compassion, dedication, commitment, service, and most important of all, Faith. It's one that will have new elements and additions to it in the near future.
There once was a kind and loving couple, Athena and Falsh. They had three kids Chris, who was grown and had left the coop, Lincoln, and energetic 10 year old, and Mouse, an adorable 7 year old who is, I'm quite sure of it, the apple of her Daddy's eye. Athena and Falsh were devoted and caring parents, but knew they wanted more children even though Athena's pregnancies were filled with issues and all the kids were born early. Some years ago, when Mouse was younger, the family received the devastating news that Athena had cancer. Thus began months (perhaps years?) of grueling treatments and surgeries. Eventually, the family was able to celebrate the great news that Athena was cancer free! What a happy day! With the cancer behind them, Athena and Falsh decided it was time to add to their family. Many months went by without success and Athena grew more and more discouraged. The couple sought the advice of doctors and reproductive specialists, but did not find the answers they hoped for. Not only was there no explanation for the lack of a pregnancy, but Athena was not a good candidate for any reproductive procedures to help. Because of her past pregnancy complications, Athena could not risk a twin pregnancy (common when seeking medical help for pregnancy) which could threaten her life and most certainly the lives of the babies.
Heartbroken, Athena was lost and confused. She found joy in raising her three beautiful and healthy children, but could not shake the feeling that her family was not "complete". Frustrated, Athena busied herself with kids, church, family, and work, never forgetting her dream of another child.
So, where do I fit in? Until recently, Athena was an acquaintance of mine. We attend the same congregation in our church, but hadn't had the opportunity to get to know each other very well. A few months ago I was speaking with a mutual friend and the subject of Athena's desire for another child and frustration that it hadn't happened came up. Further into the conversation I realized there was something I could do for Athena! You see, while I also have three amazing kids, Antonio and I feel very 'complete' with our family as it is. We love our kids are are excited about moving on with our family of five, without the intention of adding any more to it. However, my body is great at growing and birthing children. For the climax....
I am going to be a gestational surrogate for Athena and Falsh.
Within a few days of that conversation with our mutual friend, Athena and I were on a lunch date to explore the possibility of this actually happening. She was reserved and didn't want to get her hopes up to high, and I was cautious because I needed time with Antonio to really think this through. The past few months have been spent talking to doctors, praying, speaking with lawyers, praying, visiting with a psychologist, attending the temple, and many, many conversations between Athena and myself. Since making the decision, Athena has become a very dear friend and someone I love very much and I am honored and humbled that she would put this kind of trust in me to carry her child.
There is so much to say about this, and so many amazing miracles that have already happened since we began this journey together. Athena keeps telling me I'm her "Angel", which I think is absolutely ridiculous. I'm no angel, saint, or some amazing person. I'm your average joe who can't keep her house clean, snaps at her kids too much, and is horrible at getting her visiting teaching done. I'm not crafty, cutesy, or fashionable. I'm simply a woman who was seeking for a meaningful way to serve and love, and this is what Heavenly Father presented me with. I am nervous, scared, and anxious (I have to give myself lots of shots!), but above all, I'm walking a path of faith and doing the best I can to be Christlike. I'll leave this story with a "to be continued"....and with some answers to the first questions that most people ask.
Why are you doing this? - This seems to be everyone's first question, yet is the hardest for me to answer. Because the truth is, there isn't really an answer. What I want to say is, "Why not?" I cannot tell you in a way that would make sense why I am willing to do this. What it comes down to is that it feels right. There were many things I had to think about and discuss with Antonio before we made this decision. In the end, we both felt a desire to serve our friends, a desire to come closer to Christ, and a desire to prove our willing hearts to The Lord. Christ sacrificed his life for all of us. And I don't just mean he died for us (which he did). He spent his entire mortal existence in the service of others. He spent years healing, serving, and ministering to all he met. We often talk of being "Christlike", but what does that really mean? Do we spend our time as He did? Do we seek out those who are lost and suffering? I truly feel that I was brought this opportunity for a reason. I feel that on walking this path I will learn and grow in ways I could not have otherwise and I am grateful for that.
Are you nervous about giving the baby away? - The answer to this is easy. No. Because, it's not my baby. Neither Antonio or I will have any biological connection to this baby. The bun is Athena and Falsh's and I'm simply the oven. Going into this pregnancy is very different than getting pregnant with your own child. I don't want anymore kids, and I'm very excited to place that baby in Athena's waiting arms! I expect to have a different affection for the child than perhaps any random kid on the street, but in the end the child is not mine, nor do I want it to be.
How does that all work? - I am what the medical community calls a 'gestational surrogate'. This simply means that the genetic embryos of Athena and Falsh, will grow in me. It's basically in-vitro with their embryos. It involves a lot of doctor visits, a lot of medication, and a lot of hope.
I'm so excited for this new adventure. I plan to keep a detailed journaling of the good, the great, and the not so good of this whole experience. Athena and I plan to make it a beautiful journey.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Posted with Blogsy
The best gift of 2012
Skyping with Uncle Camby! It was so great to see his face and hear his voice. He is doing a great job of ministering to the people of Panama and we are so proud of him. I'm so grateful for the wonders of technology!
Christmas at the Cabin 2012
Things we loved about Christmas this year:
1. The awesome cabin we stayed at.
2. Snow, snow, snow!
3. Family
4. Food
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