Inspiration

I don't think I ever shared this story, but I want to write it down so I don't forget about the blessings of following spiritual promptings. I want my kids to know the story, especially Rocket, and I hope he knows how special he is. I also hope it will cause you to reflect upon similar experiences in your own life.

Nearly 2 years ago Antonio and I were in discussion about the path we wanted our family to take. We had made it out of some very rough years as an intact family unit, and we weren't sure what direction we would take the family as we moved forward together. For many different reasons, and after several months of serious conversation and reflection, we decided that we would not have any more kids (we had 2 awesome boys at the time), and were excited about our future as a family of four.

A few months later and Father's Day (2009) rolls around. We really wanted to do something special with the boys and decided to have a family home evening lesson centered around the power of the Priesthood and how personal priesthood blessings can help us in our lives. We talked with the boys (they were 4 and 2 at the time) about Antonio's ordination to the Priesthood and his role as an Elder and Melchizedek priesthood holder. We told them about father's blessings and how awesome it is that they have a Dad that can do that for them. Antonio then offered to give each of the boys a blessing. They were a little hesitant. Neither child had been given a blessing in that context (each boy had been given one when they were sick, but they didn't remember), but Gambit eventually hopped up on the chair.

Antonio gave Gambit a simple and beautiful blessing. I don't remember much of what he said, but the spirit was quite strong in the room at that time. During the prayer, I opened my eyes and just stared at my two amazing kids. I was consumed with love for them and felt such gratitude at the opportunity to be there mother. Almost immediately and I had a a powerful and overwhelming feeling that another child was waiting to join our family. I sat, stunned, for a few brief seconds and I shamefully admit that my first thought was, "Crap!" Antonio finished Gambit's blessing and then began giving Ninja a blessing. During Ninja's, I had the same prompting and I knew I couldn't deny what I felt.

We had afternoon church that year and I spent most of church reflecting on what had happened that morning and what it meant for me and my family. We went to have dinner that evening at Antonio's parents house which is about a 20 minute drive away. I guess I had been unusually quiet that day because Antonio looked at me funny on the drive home and said, "What are you thinking about?" I should mentioned that part of my thought process that day was coming up with a way to tell Antonio about what happened. We had just decided that our family was complete after months of going back and forth on the issue. We had made our final decision and neither of us wanted to deal with the mental, emotional, and physical aspects of what another pregnancy (and child) would mean for the family. I looked at him for a while wondering if I should answer the question honestly or give it a few days to "sink in". I finally just said, "I think we should have another baby." I fully expected a major reaction out of him. In fact, I think I wanted him to say "No way!" Instead, he got really quiet and didn't respond for a few minutes. After what seemed like never ending silence, he told me the following.

During Gambit's blessing Antonio felt the prompting to tell Gambit that he would be a good big brother. He didn't say it. He felt it again during Ninja's blessing, and again, didn't say it. I asked him why he didn't say it in the prayer. He then said, "Because it wasn't for them, it was for me." At that point we both looked at each other and just laughed. We knew what it meant. We knew from whom the promptings came from. And we both knew that we would follow the direction. Even though we had decided two children was the right number for us, I'm so grateful for divine intervention and the revelation we recieved. I'm grateful for a spouse who never questioned whether following the prompting was the right thing. He just knew it was. There was never a question about whether we would do it or not, the question immediately became when we will do it. I admit that deciding to have another baby was a very scary thing for me. The two years following Gambit's birth were very, very difficult (it had nothing to do with Gambit) and deciding to do that again was a huge leap of faith.

I'm so unbelievably grateful that I followed the path that Heavenly Father asked us to take. I cannot imagine my life without my beautiful Rocket. He has brought nothing but joy and love to our family and it is so clear that he was always meant to be a part of it. I didn't realize there was such a hole until he came and filled it. Seriously love that kid! So, the moral of the story is, follow the spirit! You never know what amazing things might happen as a result.