I'm a natural night owl. No matter how much sleep I got the night before, my body just goes wide awake at about 10pm. It would be great for me if I could sleep from 2am-10am. But, other demands keep on demanding that I arise at 7:30am. I don't function well for the first few hours. I'm groggy, sleepy, grumpy, and hungry, though I usually am so busy in the mornings taking care of everyone else or trying so hard not to fall asleep on my living room floor that I forget to eat breakfast. So here I am, at just after midnight, blogging away.
What I've also decided is that I am not a naturally happy person. Not to say that I'm a walking pessimist. On the contrary, I think I have a pretty good knack for being relatively optimistic. But I don't have that "happy" personality. The first person that comes to my mind is my sister-in-law Aunt Bee. She is just so happy. All the time. Maybe it's her silly little laugh that just transports you to the carefree days of childhood, or the way she embraces and enjoys life with all the wonderful and tragic things that are bound to happen. Whatever her secret is, I used to be super jealous. I always wanted to be like that instead of my reality of relying on a hefty dose of Prozac just to keep me from jumping out the window. (kidding, sort of) Then I finally chose to be okay that I'm not the bubbly, giggly girl. I'm quite satisfied with my life and what I have made of it. So instead of being happy, I'm happy just being content.
On another note, I had a wonderful and powerful experience in receiving some personal revelation recently. As I'm still processing the result of said experience, I'm not ready to blog about it yet. But I do want to say that I love Jesus! Love Him. And even though the things I am meant to do in my life might be scary, and even though I might not want to do them at all, I will because I love and trust Him. And that alone is enough to carry me through.