Transfer

Yesterday was a big day. The day that's been 5 months in the works. We finally made it to transfer day! Athena picked me up in the morning and we made our way down to the clinic we are using in the city. We chatted on the drive there, mostly small talk and sharing our excitement. For the past week people have been asking me if I'm "nervous". I kept thinking I would be, but I wasn't and never really was. I was excited for Athena, and just anxious to get this next step going.

We checked in and just waited a few minutes before we were called back. They brought us to a triage room, gave me some directions on what to wear, and left us to wait. During the procedure I have to have a full bladder because its easier for them to access the uterus. By this point I was feeling pretty uncomfortable from needing to pee.

After a quick ultrasound to see where my uterus and bladder were, the nurse took pity on me and let me empty about halfway. The embryologist came it to talk about the little embryos. Both survived the thaw and were looking great! She asked Athena if she wanted to know the gender. Athena desperately did want to know, but wasn't sure if finding out now would be the best time. The embryologist said she could think about it. The nurse came back in to give me a Valium and to tell us we needed to calm down :-) We were both so excited we kept laughing and talking quite loudly. The Valium certainly kicked in quickly and the volume of our room went way down! It made me feel so loopy and I couldn't concentrate on anything. It made all my limbs feel heavy when I tried to move.

Eventually the doc came back to go of everything for the procedure once again. Athena had decided that she did want to know the genders so the doc told us. Athena and her husband are thrilled :-) I was wheeled back into the procedure room and they started getting everything ready. Athena came in a few minutes later and sat holding my hand through the whole thing. It wasn't painful (except when the nurse kept pushing on my very full bladder), but I needed her support and encouragement. The transfer itself was very quick and I was wheeled back into the triage room. I was told to lie still for 15 minutes and then I could go to the bathroom. After about 8 minutes I was in so much pain from needing to pee that I begged Athena to find the nurse or I was going to pee all over the bed. The nurse brought over a bed pan (that was a new experience!) and even with that I still managed to pee all over the bed. Oh well. I had already lost all dignity at that point, but I did keep apologizing to the nurse who had to clean me up.

We left the clinic about an hour later with this picture of the most beautiful embryos ever.

Two little beings are now inside and we just wait. I'm on bed rest for 48 hours to give them the best chance at "sticking". It's only been 23 so far and I'm already bored. I have new found respect for those ladies who have to be on bed rest for weeks at a time! The blood test for the pregnancy is in a week and we'll know if those whole process worked. For now, we are praying and trying to stay distracted with a lot of sudoku and angry birds.

 

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Waiting....

Not much new to report on the surrogacy front.  We have two little embryos waiting on ice.  Athena and Falsh decided to have the embryos tested for genetic abnormalities because no one knew what kind of affect the cancer treatment had on her ovaries.  Of the 4 that we had biopsied, 2 of them came back looking perfect :-)  As part of the genetic testing, they find out if the embryos are male or female.  Athena eventually wants to know what she will be having, but we will wait until we know the pregnancy is confirmed and viable.  She doesn't want to find out the gender, only to have the pregnancy not stick.  I think the loss would be even harder and more personal if that happened. 

I've started a bunch of different medications.  Every evening I give myself a shot of Lupron in my stomach.  The shot itself doesn't hurt, but it's making me bloated and I look fat.  That's been annoying.  I already can't fit into my favorite jeans and I'm not even pregnant!  Transfer of the embryos is scheduled for four weeks from today.  Athena and I are so anxious to get there!  We each have a little countdown.  The Saturday before transfer we are going out for a girly spa day.  I'm hoping that will get my body nice and relaxed so the little embryos will want to stay and hang out once they get in there.

Every few days I sit and think about those little guys (or girls).  Not the embryos themselves, but the spirit(s) that will inhabit the bodies they grow into.  I wonder what they are thinking.  Are they excited? Nervous? Are they watching over us? I hope they don't feel cold yet.  It's got to be awfully cold in those cryo tanks. 

The next few weeks will be very busy for me at work so I hope it moves quickly.  I'm so ready to get those embryos inside and see what happens!

What's up Doc?

What does it take to get me pregnant with someone else's child?

3 kinds of injectable medications

4 different oral medications

1 hazardous waste disposal box

7 baggies of needles

And, the expertise of many, many people much smarter than me. Lets hope this works the first go around! I'm ready to go!

 

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Harvesting

The more we get into this surrogacy process, the more I'm amazed at the things that our medical advances can do nowadays.  Athena went in for egg retrieval today.  I was extremely disappointed that I wasn't able to go with her (dumb work obligations). I feel like I failed her at not being the moral support in the waiting room.  Nevertheless, it went great.  The doc was able to get 18 eggs, though at this point we aren't sure how many will make it through fertilization, and after that how many will grow into viable embryos.  The goal is to end up with 5 ish embryos that are good enough for transfer.  We will NOT be transferring that many.  This will not be the Octomom re-run.  I'm a waiting duck for now.  I'll start on my medications for the transfer cycle soon, and we'll be well on our way to some baby growing!  I'm getting more nervous, but a good nervous, not scared nervous.  The last 4 months have been so surreal.  Athena and I talk/text every day and it starts to feel really strange if we go a few hours without "talking".  Sometimes we don't really have anything truly important to say, but just knowing she's there as a friend, buddy, and partner in this brings a sense of calm in this crazy journey.  We laugh, we joke, we talk about the tough decisions regarding pregnancy that we hope we won't have to make.  It's really a strange kind of awesome when I think of how our relationship has progressed.  It's almost like a platonic marriage.  I have a bond with her now that I will never share with another friend and it's been really cool to enjoy that.

Antonio and I haven't sat down to talk with the boys about this yet.  At first, we didn't want to bring it up too early in case it didn't work out and because there would be several months until there was an attempt at a pregnancy.  Now that we are getting closer I think it's time.  I'm not worried at all about their reactions.  I think they are at the perfect age to be pretty neutral about it all.  Rocket won't remember it, and Gambit and Ninja are very logical thinkers which will bode well when we are explaining.  My intention is to put it as simply and matter-of-factly as possible.  They see Lincoln and Mouse at church every Sunday, and I don't think they'll have a hard time understanding that the baby growing in mom isn't *our* baby, but it's Lincoln and Mouse's brother or sister. 

So, things are still moving.  Aside from the surrogacy taking over our lives (in the best way possible), we don't have much else going on.  Antonio is busy at work with year-end reports and all that corporate business garbage.  My job at the hospital is wonderful.  I love the actual work, and I've pretty much figured out a good routine of balancing work, family, and church. Except for the fact that I can figure out when or how to potty train Rocket.  He's ready. I'm not.  I don't feel like dealing with it yet so I keep buying boxes of diapers.  Oh well, someday.

Keep Your Day Job

My reproductive doctor told me I should be a uterus model yesterday. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Let's back up a bit....

Things are moving right along with the surrogacy. I just finished my "mock" cycle and everything looks great. The mock cycle, in short, is when they have me take all the medications and the docs monitor how my body is responding and if its doing what they want it to do. That way, they'll know if they need to tweak a med or make little changes for the real "transfer" cycle.

I had the joyful opportunity of giving myself estrogen injections in my hip. It took me about 15 minutes to muster up enough courage to do the first injection. I kept picking up the needle, looking at it, and then putting it back on the counter in fear. I don't actually have any kind of needle phobia. It's not a big deal for me to get shots or have my blood drawn. But, there's something very different about doing it to yourself. I finally picked it up and before I could think to much, poked it into my hip. I was a title surprised to find it didn't even hurt at all! Despite the needle being 1 1/2 inches long, I didn't feel it. After I got through the first one the rest were no big deal.

One major side effect of the synthetic estrogen is being moody or emotional. I didn't think I was having issues until I saw Athena at church and she asked me how I was. For no reason at all I started bawling! Poor Athena felt so bad and didn't know what to do. I had a few other moments like that, but overall, the side effects have been mild. That might change when I have to start some mo medications next month.

Yesterday I went to the doc to have an ultrasound of my uterus. They were measuring how think the lining got and making sure everything looks normal for when we do the actual embryo transfer. She kept saying, "Wow! Your uterus looks amazing! You should be a uterus model!" Ahh....what every woman wants to hear :-)

I am really happy that everything looks good. My estrogen levels were so good that I didn't have to take my last dose. All of this just increases our odds of an embryo sticking! Athena is getting ready for egg retrieval in about a week. She's a little bummed that she's only got 13 follicles growing, but I'm confident we'll get some great embryos.

 

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A boy and his trains

Nearly every gift Rocket received for Christmas had to do with trains, specifically, Thomas the Tank Engine. That boy will sit and play trains for hours. He will also sit and watch episodes of Thomas for hours if you let him.

 

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Camping. In the snow. For reals.

Antonio went snow caving with the boys of the Boy Scout troop he's a leader of last weekend. I'm pretty sure I stood agape for several minutes when he told me their plans. Hike a bit up the mountain, dig little caves in the snow, sleep in said caves, come home next morning. Who in their right mind would ever think that sounds enjoyable? I can barely tolerate camping when the weather is good. Dispute my protestations that this was the dumbest idea ever, they all went and if the reports are accurate, they all had a good time.

 

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